Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Next Up, Nutella?

I've firmly entered the "oh my gosh, what I'm writing totally sucks and I need to burn it" phase. I'm assuming the next step is sinking into a vat of Nutella, never to be seen again. 


The writing process is a funny thing. It starts so purely, with an idea. You know like how Oprah had her "Aha!" moments? Yeah that's it. Over the past few weeks I've learned a bit about the self-revealing process that is writing. Seeing as I haven't come close to finishing what I'm working on, I thought it would be fun to review the various phases I've had the pleasure of experiencing.


The "Inspired" Phase
This is a fun one. The ideas are so vast I mentally compared it to the universe. Each galaxy a novel, each star an idea. This is the phase when characters are born, their personalities jumping up and down, jockeying to get center stage to tell their stories. In my case, one lucky character was making so much noise that I couldn't ignore her any longer. And she convinced me she had one hell of a tale to tell. 


The "Pulitzer Prize" Phase
This is the phase that inflates your ego and makes you think your story is so grand, so perfect, so unique that the New York Times is waiting with bells on to review this budding masterpiece. Words pour out so effortlessly it's hard to believe that people complain about "the process." This is also the phase where I didn't sleep. But you're so wrapped up in the characters and the world you've created that you forget there's life outside the bubble. Once you poke your head back out, you realize that everyone who you've told that you're writing a book wants to read it. 


The "Oh-my-gosh-what-I'm-writing-totally-sucks-and-I-need-to-burn-it" Phase
Enter self doubt. Hi, how are you? At this point all the arrogant confidence gained in the Pulitzer Prize phase has dissipated. Or rather, packed its bags and high-tailed it out of town. I find myself reading and rereading and rereading everything. The end result is usually the same. This. Sucks. I even went to so far as to start rewriting the whole thing in the POV of the main character. Thankfully, my brain stopped humming to itself and convinced me to stay the course. I'm pretty sure at some point people move on from this phase. At least I hope so. 




Since I've been stuck in this phase I've found myself perusing Amazon.com and other bookseller websites. Just for the fun of it, I'll click on the little "LOOK INSIDE!" and see if my drivel is anywhere near as good as something that's published. Sometimes I think I can hang with the big kids. Sometimes I think I should stick to my day job. 


Whatever the outcome, the writing continues. Someday I'll let someone read it. Maybe. Depends on what the next phase is....or if I'll forever remain lost in a vat of Nutella.

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